Woman Looks Great for a 32-Year-Old
MILWAUKEE, WI—Acquaintances and coworkers of local resident Kari
Blohm cannot get over how vibrant she looks, considering the fact that she is
32 years old.
 |
| Blohm, who is already 32 |
"That girl is 32? No way," 24-year-old Arden Rice, a
waitress at a local diner that Blohm frequents, said Monday. "You're
joking. I never would've guessed she was over 30! She looks so great."
Sources say many people are incredulous when they hear that Blohm,
who is still extremely attractive, is actually 32. It's hard to believe, but
true: Blohm was born in 1982, the year The British defeated Argentina in the
Falklands War, John Hinckley was found not guilty of shooting Ronald Reagan,
Michael Jackson released Thriller,
John Belushi died of a drug overdose, and E.T.
was the biggest movie in the country, yet she possesses a trim figure and a
smooth, unlined face.
"Kari hardly looks a day over 26," said neighbor and
University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee student Bethany Weber, 21. "Where are
her wrinkles? You can sort of see little lines around her eyes when she smiles,
but they disappear when she stops. I hope I look that good when I'm her
age."
Continued Weber: "I have this older cousin who was a total
hunk in high school. But now he's 34, and he looks like Popeye. Kari gives me
something to aspire to. I wonder if she uses, like, Oil of Olay or
something."
Blohm, a Director of Rehabilitation and Speech Pathologist at a
Milwaukee-area skilled-nursing facility, frequently wears stylish jeans,
T-shirts, and casual skirts like those worn by women 5-10 years younger than
she is.
"Normally, when I see a 32-year-old woman dressed like [Kari],
I think, 'Give it up. You're old,'" intern Kimberly Kleutgen, 18, said.
"But Kari manages to pull it off in an amazing way. I am so jealous."
"When we go out for drinks, Kari sometimes has to show ID
along with the younger employees and friends," 21-year-old coworker Judd
Truman said. "Keep in mind, this is a woman who learned to walk many years
before the commercial availability of CDs, when Martina Navratilova was the
world's top female tennis player, and people purchased music on vinyl and
cassette tapes."
According to Truman, Blohm’s friendliness and enthusiasm also
lead people to assume that she's younger than 32.
"Kari doesn't act like most older people," Truman
said. "She's totally willing to joke around, and she never looks down on
you for having a good time."
"In fact, she's into a lot of the same things my friends
and I like," Truman continued. "When they played [Kendrick Lamar’s] “Swimming
Pools (Drank)” at the office party, she was totally dancing with us. It didn't
come off like she was desperately clinging to her fading youth at all. In fact,
it was almost like she was in her element. She's still totally able to enjoy
herself. That's so cool."
The reason for Blohm’s youthful appearance is unknown. She even
has a four-month-old child now whom she takes care of in addition to her
demanding job.
"Kari’s a lovely girl," Madeleine, 60, said as her
63-year-old husband nodded in assent. "I've always said that."
Blohm said she does not avoid foods that contribute to premature
aging, such as alcohol and junk food, although she has been a vegetarian for
about a decade. According to her husband, Anthony, Blohm regularly eats pizza,
M&Ms, and even doughnuts, along with her vegetarian meals, and still looks
youthful and sexy.
"I once saw her eat an entire plate of fettuccine
Alfredo," her friend Truman said. "That stuff is just swimming with
free radicals, you know. I would think that someone Kari’s age would avoid
cheese and salt, but it doesn't seem to affect her."
Asked about her beauty regimen, Blohm seemed reluctant to give
away any of her secrets.
"Well, I don't know, nothing too special," Blohm said.
"I guess I try to get enough sleep. I eat a good breakfast, and I ride my
bike when the weather is nice. I had a gym membership and I used to run a
little bit, but no so much in the winter, and definitely not as much now that I
have a baby. I go to the movies at least a couple times a month. Oh, and I wear
sunscreen."
"Yeah, I can't believe I'm 32 already," Blohm added.
"All the same, I can't tell you what I'll be doing at 40. Who knows? It's still
too far off to even speculate."
The age-defying Blohm shows no signs of slowing. In the coming
weeks, she plans to paint her bedroom, attend a family reunion around Christmastime
in Green Bay, WI, and get her hair cut.
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*Note: this is a piece that is based on an Onion article from 2004.
*Note: this is a piece that is based on an Onion article from 2004.
